In NLP we understand that people process information using on of three relating styles: kinesthetic, visual, and auditory. Just as it’s better to talk with a Chinese person in Chinese, in NLP we understand that we can communicate and create better rapport with people if we communicate with them in the style they prefer. Of all NLP techniques you can learn, this can be the most powerful for helping you improve your quality of life rapidly.

Generally speaking, kinesthetic oriented people respond to touch and act on how they feel. Kinesthetic people like to engage in affectionate rough housing, as well as being held for long periods of time.

When talking with kinesthetic persons you’ll hear terms such as these in your conversations:

“I just felt as if…”
“I’ll handle it.”
“I feel like we really connected.”
“Take it easy.”

Physical contact and feelings are their primary love language. Kinesthetic people often feel overwhelmed or feel picked on in a verbal conflict.

When communicating with a kinesthetic oriented person, a soft touch on the arm means you care, you’re interested, and you’re listening. Often the kinesthetic person will touch you as they are speaking as well.

In the work field, a handshake is often offered and expected by a kinesthetic person. Not only is a handshake proper and a sign of respect to the kinesthetic person, but it is also a personal connection. In addition, they may put their arm around your shoulders while walking and talking. This is how they communicate and connect.

Kinesthetic people can be hard to motivate, however, because they often can’t get past how they’re feeling in the moment. They are very emotionally driven and often let their emotions control their actions. Kinesthetic oriented persons also react to gut instincts and tend not to base decisions on reason or logic.

Kinesthetic Relating in Love Relationships

In a relationship with a kinesthetic oriented person, if you don’t touch them often, they may not feel loved by you. They may feel rejected and not even know why.

If your loved one is saying things like, “You never touch me,” or “You never cuddle with me anymore,” their love tank may be empty. Fill it up with some meaningful and long snuggles on the couch, a big bear hug or a nice back massage. Then keep their hearts filled by giving them the touching, hugging, and snuggling they are thirsting for.

Click on the links below to understand other rapport building NLP techniques.

Visual
Auditory

Wil Dieck is the founder of Total Mind Therapy . You can sign up here to receive positive thinking tips delivered by e-mail weekly