Different people have different styles of relating to others. There are three identified styles of relating and auditory relating is one of these. The other two are visual and kinesthetic.
Just as it’s better to talk with a Chinese person in Chinese, in NLP we understand that we can communicate and create better rapport with people if we communicate with them in the style they prefer. Of all NLP techniques you can learn, this can be the most powerful for helping you improve your quality of life rapidly. The auditory relating style refers to those people who respond to and are stimulated by what they hear.
Auditory persons learn more effectively by hearing rather than by seeing. Using audio, as well as reading aloud, is a great way to teach the auditory oriented person.
The auditory oriented person best responds to expressions of love in the form of words of affirmation and compliments. The best gifts for an auditory person are:
Music
Audio books
Concerts
Anything that involves the use of their hearing sense
Auditory Relating in Relationships
The auditory person loves the sound of their voice! He can sit and chat for hours and he feels loved when this happens.
Auditory people are sensitive to another’s tone of voice and can be easily offended when given criticism or correction. Therefore, using softer tones and beginning criticism or correction with positive affirmations is the best way to communicate with auditory people.
Auditory Relating and Conflict
An auditory person processes issues by talking things through; unless it’s something big, then they usually prefer quiet time. In addition, the auditory person likes to have the last word and usually gets it. Plus, they tend to be good at debating and getting others to talk as well.
Auditory persons are sensitive to the sounds of nature and often find peace when walking through the woods, by a crackling fire or strolling by a running river. Add these types of activities to a great conversation and you’re speaking their love language.
The easiest way to identify an auditory oriented person is by listening to their expressions. They often use phrases like:
“Hear me out.”
“Listen to what I’m saying.”
“I didn’t hear that clearly.”
“We need to talk.”
“I can tell by your tone…”
Neuro Linguistic Programming Techniques to Use for Building rapport with an Auditory Oriented Person
If your boss is an auditory oriented person, she’ll expect you to communicate through face to face, or telephone meetings, instead of email or memos. She may even find email or memos to be offensive or less meaningful than a phone call or meeting.
Another excellent technique you can use is if you need to address a problem or issue, begin the conversation with positive affirmations about what you like about a person or the project before you get into the issue. This will open up and build rapport the auditory oriented person who will then be more open to receiving your ideas. This is an excellent method to lowering walls before they go up.
When practicing NLP we listen to how people breathe because breathing is something that both kinesthetic and auditory processors pay a great deal of attention to. If an auditory oriented person hears sighs and grunts they often translate these noises as if something’s wrong. For example, if you’re a heavy sigh-er, you may often be asked, “What’s wrong?” every time you take a deep breath. The best thing you can do is communicate to the sensitive person that nothing’s wrong. This will allow them to adjust to your breathing sounds.
Building Rapport with an Auditory Type Person
Once you’ve learned how to identify an auditory person, relating to them will be easier. Here are the main things to remember once you’ve determined you’re dealing with a person who relates via sound:
Be sensitive when speaking.
Use appropriate tones of voice.
Begin criticism or correction with positive affirmations.
In addition, auditory processors like to hear compliments and the words “I love you” repeatedly. The auditory person never tires of hearing these things. In fact, if you don’t compliment them or say “I love you” often enough, the auditory person may begin to feel unloved.
If you’re in a marriage with an auditory type person and they are constantly saying, “You don’t love me” or “You never say you love me,” you’re not speaking their love language. To help with communication and make them feel loved speak adorning words more frequently. Using this method of creating rapport to better connect with auditory lovers will greatly improve the quality of your love life.
Like I mentioned before, this is one of the best NLP techniques you can master to quickly improve the quality of your life. Communication is a lot easier when we know and understand our loved ones relating style, whether it is auditory, visual or kinesthetic. Now that you can identify an auditory oriented person, you will be able to express your love for them easier and relate to them using their love language.
Click on the links below to understand other rapport building NLP techniques.
Wil Dieck is the founder of Total Mind Therapy . You can sign up here to receive positive thinking tips delivered by e-mail weekly
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